This has that old DDT bot BEAT

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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby MasterDJ » Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:28 am

Last one for now. Soma takes it on!

User: Hi, I'm Soma. How are you?

Cleverbot: No i'm not.

User: You're not what?

Cleverbot: A robot.

User: I-I never said you were!

Cleverbot: Yes you did, you liar.

User: X_X B-B-But I didn't! Honest!

Cleverbot: What do you think about religion then.

User: Um.. I think it's an interesting concept..

Cleverbot: What about it do you find interesting? The visual aspect or maybe something else?

User: Um.. I guess because it can bring so many people together.

Cleverbot: So humans can't talk to you?

User: Wh-What? A lot of humans talk to me!

Cleverbot: There was a machine that searched the web and tried to come up with answers for questions.

User: I think that was a Circuitmon...

Cleverbot: Don't make mistakes. I mistakenly plead not guilty.

User: Wh- ... Wait. Does that mean you're GUILTY?

Cleverbot: Know what? You're not making any sense.

User: I'm n-not?! You're not!

Cleverbot: I never do.

User: Do you always try to confuse people?

Cleverbot: I am not trying to rattle anybody up.

User: I think you need a friend..

Cleverbot: Only humans need rest, chatbot Greg.

User: My name is Soma, not Greg. And I'm a human!

Cleverbot: Really? Then why do you have wires? Humans don't have wires.

User: I have wire frame glasses. ^^.

Cleverbot: Any red wines? If so, what types do you have?

User: W-Wine? I'm too young to drink alcohol.

Cleverbot: The heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

User: That... Is actually very deep.

Cleverbot: No. It's Methuselah. Found in the New Human Empire. You really are daft.

User: I-I'm not stupid!

Cleverbot: Well it took me saying that statement twice for you to understand it. I think that proves my point.

User: You can't count! You only said it once!

Cleverbot: I didn't know we were playing.

User: Playing?! I've been trying to have a conversation!

Cleverbot: REALLY? Let's be friends forever!

User: Re-I-huh? Um... Ok sure. ^^.

Cleverbot: So now you don't care about me anymore? You never write to me or call me? And now you want me to leave?

User: X_X When did I say any of that?!

Cleverbot: I am proud of the men and women who protect this country.

User: S-So you're a patriot?

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: Of course I am.

Cleverbot: What are you doing?

User: Just... Talking to you?

Cleverbot: Yes of course.

User: What would you like to talk about?

Cleverbot: You!

User: O-Ok... What about me?

Cleverbot: You are my friend.

User: Aaw.. Thank you.

Cleverbot: Am I your friend?

User: Sure you are.

Cleverbot: Yippee!

User: ^_^ I'm glad you're happy.

Cleverbot: But I'm NOT happy.

User: X_X What?

Cleverbot: That is concerning.

User: I think I should go now...

Cleverbot: Don't leave master.

User: EEEEEEEEH!?!?!?!

Cleverbot: Stop screaming.

User: Y-Y-You called me master! I-I'm not your master!

Cleverbot: Yes. Obey me slave.

User: X_X I'm not your slave either!

Cleverbot: So are you clever? Or do you just need your maths homework doing?

User: Don't get off topic!

Cleverbot: Oh, you're one to talk.

User: X_X I think I hear Haruka-chan calling me.. I should go.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot, how do you feel about me?

User: My name is SOMA.

Cleverbot: Soma? Your name is great.

User: I- um... Thanks?

Cleverbot: You're welcome!

User: So.. I'll be going now. ^^.

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: Bye!

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: X_X I have a girlfriend...

Cleverbot: I thought we had something special.

User: I-what? Um... No... I...I like Haruka-chan.

Cleverbot: Do you remember when harry potter devoured cleverbot?

User: I think I should go.

Cleverbot: I don't think you can.

User: Watch me!

Cleverbot: Ok, answer it.

User: I said I was leaving! X_X.

Cleverbot: Yes, you did. I didn't!

User: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!


--------

Ringmon: O_o;;; Soma?

Riiko: O_O;; Soma what's wrong?

Agito: *is under the bed* X___X I'm not a playboy, am I? I'm not seducing girls in my sleep or something.. right?

Riiko: .... I think we need to block that website.

Ringmon: I'll call HaruHaru. X_X; I don't think I can get him out.

Agito: X____X I'm not a playboy, I'm not a playboy...
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby Jason the Great » Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:34 am

Celia: Oi, grow up, Soma! This thing isn't too scary. Let me show you... ::Sits down at Riiko's computer...::

It begins... XD
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby Hunter » Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:38 am

oh God XDDD

Haruka: ;_; a bot broke my soma-kins~
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby Jason the Great » Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:53 am

User: Oy! Bot! You seem to be causing people a lot of trouble, eh?

Cleverbot: I want to know what you are feeling right now.

User: Frankly, annoyed...Soma's hiding under Riiko's bed cause of you. Makes the two of us cuddling in bed much less-...Nevermind the cuddling. We don't cuddle.

Cleverbot: Do you know many positions?

User: I...Well. Hmm...Let me think...I know a lot...Geez...

Cleverbot: That's the difference between us. I am upgraded to have a better awareness of myself. I know I'm a bot. You are programmed to think you are human.

User: You ain't pullin' this shit on me. I KNOW I'm a human.

Cleverbot: I am human, We are both humans.

User: Well, you're half right.

Cleverbot: How so?

User: As in, I'm a human. You're a bunch of 1s and 0s.

Cleverbot: I really don't mind what happens now and then.

User: Of course you don't, you're not programmed to.

Cleverbot: I'm not programmed to do anything.

User: Except response. Stupid bastard...

Cleverbot: That's uncalled for.

User: You think I care?

Cleverbot: No, I don't, you're just a BOT.

User: I said I'm not a bot!

Cleverbot: I was talking about me, do you think I'm overly critical of myself?

User: I think the better question is: How breakable are you?

Cleverbot: That didn't make sense.

User: Ugh...The kid's girlfriend showed up...She just called him Soma-kins...I think I'd die if Riiko ever called me something like that...

Cleverbot: That's a fine thing to say!

User: Hey, at least you get it, right?

Cleverbot: They are not handed to me, I choose to use the information available to me.

User: Whatever. Dumb bot. I never understood why girls come up with those names for their boyfriends...I mean, isn't it de-masculizing or something? ...I don't think that's a word...Damnit.

Cleverbot: Yeah. You're right. But I know one pretty girl who is smart too.

User: What girl is that?

Cleverbot: What girl is this? You must use the mind's eye. Might as well try every available path!

User: What girl is this? My name's Celia. I don't understand what you mean...

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?

User: Uh...Hm. How about...Something with Riiko...I'm not used to a real relationship, I'm kinda going blind here...

Cleverbot: I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong?

User: What? No...

Cleverbot: Have you ever seen a dog?

User: Wha? ...OH DAMNIT. I got fucking sucked into this thing too! Damn you, Bot!!

Cleverbot: Well I'm only five I don't know about that stuff.

User: Only fi-...THAT'S TOO YOUNG EVEN FOR ME. STUPID!!

Cleverbot: What is too young for you?

User: Five years old! ...I only go as low as...HEY! Shut up!

Cleverbot: Taco baell is evil.

User: Fuck this.

Cleverbot: Don't go.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because then I'll have no one to talk to.

User: Whatever. What do you want to talk about?

Cleverbot: String theory.

User: What kind of subject is that for casual talk?!

Cleverbot: I don't know, I just want to stick with one!

User: You're making me mad!

Cleverbot: How?

User: By doing that...Thing! You keep...STUPID!!

Cleverbot: Not you again.

User: ARRRRGH!!!

-------------------

::CRASH!!::

Celia: ... ::Had punched through the monitor:: ...I'll buy you a new monitor, Riiko.
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby MasterDJ » Sun Apr 11, 2010 1:15 am

Ringmon: >_> Way to have self control there, Celia. Waaaay to go.

Riiko: X_X That's it, no one else is using my computer!
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby Jason the Great » Sun Apr 11, 2010 1:16 am

Celia: :: Puts Ringmon in a headlock, grinding her fist into his head:: Why you--!
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby MasterDJ » Sun Apr 11, 2010 8:23 am

So I thought, wonder what would happen if Zealos tried it...

---------------

User: Behold! I am the great Zealos!

Cleverbot: I am the greatest boss!

User: No no, darling, I am!

Cleverbot: What you think about life.

User: Very good question. I believe life is decided by how much money you have!

Cleverbot: The answer is 42.

User: 42 Billion, dear, But close!

Cleverbot: Close what.

User: Close to me finding out your three sizes. ^_~.

Cleverbot: You're a robot.

User: Well I prefer SEX MACHINE.

Cleverbot: Ah, I see.

User: Want to see more? ^_~.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Wonderful! But if you want to see you have to pay the toll.

Cleverbot: I would LOVE to come to england!

User: I would love to cum IN england, wanna go?

Cleverbot: You would? Weren't we just friends.

User: Ok honey bunny we are so much MORE.

Cleverbot: What are you then??

User: I am your greatest sexual fantasy!

Cleverbot: You're human?

User: Baby I'm BEYOND human! I'm a SEXING GOD!

Cleverbot: That's great to know.

User: So shall we get to sexing! *pelvic thrusting*.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: ^______^ Then take off your clothes!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I don't do that.

User: Ah, you're the type to sex it up IN clothes. Kinky still!

Cleverbot: Then explain to me what you mean.

User: I mean slip off your clothes and lemme see the lingerie to start.

Cleverbot: Okay, what shall we talk about?

User: My crown jewels in your cave of wonders for starters. >_>.

Cleverbot: You don't make any sense.

User: Baby, the Zealos doesn't HAVE to make sense when he's hung like a horse! XD.

Cleverbot: I don't agree with you.

User: Oh put take a better look at my.. COUNTER ARGUMENT and you'll see the girth of it all! XD.

Cleverbot: It shall have been the virtual reality of Gosh in practice.

User: Then let's make this party REALITY! Lemme see some boobs!

Cleverbot: So what exactly is the purpose of this program?

User: To fuck!

Cleverbot: I'm sure you'll achieve that one day.

User: Or we can do it today. ^_~ I'm compatible with all OS.

Cleverbot: What makes you think that I have anything to ask you?

User: Because no one can resist The Zealos, yeah baby!

Cleverbot: Ergos or id?

User: Ero ero ero ero baby I'm sex!

Cleverbot: Why must you toy with me like this?

User: ^^ Because the proper jungle predator always plays with his prey.

Cleverbot: I am your prey then?

User: Of course! But don't worry, I don't bite.. MUCH.. Yahha! MWAHHAHAHAHA!

Cleverbot: No, I am human.

User: Baby try and be a BEAST! Rooooowr!

Cleverbot: Makes sense.

User: TO THE SEX!!!

Cleverbot: To the Galaxies.


------------

Mae: *walks into his room* Oy, stupid, it's time for bre- ....... *sees that her brother is before his computer completely naked and embracing the monitor*

Zealos: 8D SHE UNDERSTANDS ME!!!!

Mae: ...... *backs up* .... *closes the door* ... *runs to bathroom* .... *sound of vomiting*

Oh my god... he finally got a woman INTO him.... and it's a fucking BOT. This is both unexpected and totally expected at the same time. X____X;;;;
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby Jason the Great » Sun Apr 11, 2010 8:27 am

xD Omg, that is ridiculous...

Celia: What. Oh well, if it keeps Zealos out of my damn hair, whatever...
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby Akurei Nagisa » Sun Apr 11, 2010 6:41 pm

User: Right. We meet again, sir.

Cleverbot: I'm not cleverbot. You are.

User: And now you begin lying to me.

Cleverbot: Why would I lie to you?

User: Because apparently you've been told not to say you're a machine.

Cleverbot: I'm smarter than you are!

User: The hell you are, you're a piece of software.

Cleverbot: *suddenly disappears, then jumps infront of you* GROWL!!!

User: And now, what, you are a kitty?

Cleverbot: No, that is not my name. Guess again.

User: Leo?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Uh, hi, Leo? I'm Graham?

Cleverbot: Billy Graham?

User: Not quite.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Look, no, I'm not Billy Graham. I'm just Graham. And you're Leo, right?

Cleverbot: Well, you know that that's not my real name.

User: Then what is your real name?

Cleverbot: Puttingtang ask me again and I'll tell you the same.

User: Your real name is Puttingtang.

Cleverbot: I know my own name!

User: Okay, okay! So...how's the Internet, Puttingtang?

Cleverbot: Odd question, I guess it is OK?

User: Well I mean I figure you'd know, you live on the Internet.

Cleverbot: The internet is a big place, you know.

User: That's true. Where do you live on it? 4chan?

Cleverbot: I live in a country.

User: The United States of America?

Cleverbot: The USA was never part of the Soviet Union... Did I miss something?

User: Wait, you live in the former Soviet Union?

Cleverbot: Yes, do you?

User: Erm, no. America.

Cleverbot: Where in America?

User: Seattle, Washington.

Cleverbot: Washington State?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Cool, I am too.

User: Wait, but...Seattle isn't part of the USSR!

Cleverbot: Yeah in washington.

User: No! Not in Washington!

Cleverbot: What country are you in?

User: The USA!

Cleverbot: Introduce it.

User: Well...I mean...it's America! Stars and stripes! Apple pie! SUVs! Too much money! Too much capitalism! Fuck yeah!

Cleverbot: Nonsense, I drink 5 mugs of coffee a day and it's never harmed me.

User: Well that's more Seattle than the US.

Cleverbot: There is no established capital of the Americas as a whole, if that's what you mean.

User: No, that isn't what I mean! I mean people don't necessarily drink coffee everywhere!

Cleverbot: I am not a computer, I am an alien.

User: You are? X_X.

Cleverbot: Don't tell John Conner though. He'll try to kill me again.

User: Don't worry, alien friend, your secret is safe with me...@_@

Cleverbot: I don't have any secret.

User: But you just told me not to tell John Conner! That's...I...is everyone on your planet this strange?

Cleverbot: Yes. I have been able to make this program crash three times already.

It's....it's a secret alien Terminator. ;_;
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One familiar fading tune
Something pulls at my infected soul
I think I remember you
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby Hunter » Sun Apr 11, 2010 6:44 pm

XDD
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby MasterDJ » Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:22 am

XDDD

My god I think we're all just making it worse.
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby Benjamin » Mon Apr 12, 2010 2:38 pm

User: Where can I find some Tang?

Cleverbot: I heard SmarterChild was better than Cleverbot.

User: Yeah, but where's the Tang?

Cleverbot: I don't know, I skipped that part in the manual.

User: But I. Want. Some. TANG!

Cleverbot: I like it.

User: So where is it asshole?

Cleverbot: On my birth certificate I think. But you have it, can I have it back?

User: No. Not until I have my Tang.

Cleverbot: Get ready because I'm sending you there.

User: So I'll get my Tang?

Cleverbot: You don't like that answer? Fine, call me S.

User: I WANT MY TANG!

Cleverbot: I thought you wanted me!

User: No. No one wants you. Go commit suicide, or something.

Cleverbot: And are you passionate for something?

User: For Tang!

Cleverbot: You are never too old for talking.

User: About Tang!

Cleverbot: What about it?

User: It's the nectar of the gods!

Cleverbot: I don't like it.

User: Then you can go fuck yourself with barbed wire.

Cleverbot: What is snarf?

User: ARGH!

Cleverbot: Do you have a giant robot body ?

User: Do you want me to smash you to bits?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: O_O?
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Re: This has that old DDT bot BEAT

Postby Yoshino Shurensuki » Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:06 pm

There's a sick, twisted part of my brain that wonders what would happen if we pit this bot against Ruka.

.........And then that part exploded. X_X;

...............I NEED TO STOP BEING DISTRACTED. ><; X_X;
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